The story “Home” written by Hena Khan talks about the difficulties of adopting a baby brother Hakeem and how a big sister Aleena overcomes it. Aleena and her family are adopting a three-year-old toddler Hakeem and visiting him in the orphanage from America. During their first meeting, because of the language barrier, Hakeem only played with the ball and never paid attention to Aleena’s family. With more visits, Hakeem began to stay in her parent’s lap longer and hugged Aleena. After being adopted and living in America, Hakeem often wrecked Aleena’s room and destroyed her stuff. Her parents always blame Aleena with the excuses either because it was “within his reach” or “he has to learn”. At Aleena's birthday party, Hakeem messed up the sand station. He cried because of all the harsh words from Aleena’s friends. Aleena felt so empty; this is the moment when she finally realized what her parents meant by “he has to learn”. She then began to support Hakeem learning in his own way, as she let Hakeem blow out the birthday candle, and also eat the cakes. This story reflects on the issue of adopting a child. Let’s discuss from three perspectives: the adopted kid, the foster family, and the process of adopting.
When being adopted, a child may experience the feelings or reactions of confusion, fear, loss, curiosity, and resilience. The thoughts and emotions toward adopting could vary for each adopted child, depending on his own experiences and understanding. Hakeem is a three-year old boy who doesn’t know any English but Arabic. Hakeem might feel fear when first meeting Aleena’s family, anxiety to live in the new environment in Aleena’s house, and curiosity about Aleena’s home and want to explore it. When a child is first adopted, he might feel very excited for adoption because he will finally have a home and other stuff that he didn’t have when he was in the orphanage. However, for a three-year-old toddler Hakeem, he might be confused or have no idea about the concept of adoption. Hakeem might have a sense of loss because he was separated from his main caregivers in the orphanage whom he has been familiar with since he began to understand things. He may feel scared and uncertain about what would happen in the new home. While Hakeem was placed in Aleena’s home, he might experience more fear and anxiety due to the sudden change and unfamiliar surroundings. At the same time, Hakeem displays his curiosity about his new home, exploring and interacting with his adopted parents, Aleena, and surroundings which might cause some troubles. As an adopted child's foster parents, they need to consider how a child feels after being adopted.
Foster families, including parents and siblings, should approach the adopted child with patience, unconditional love, and open communication. It is crucial for foster families to provide a supportive and warm environment for the adopted child to make them feel welcomed and loved. On the first meeting with Hakeem in the orphanage, Aleena brought Cars crayon, Elmo puzzle, and a backpack to make Hakeem feel loved. When Hakeem messed up Aleena’s room, destroyed her cream colored carpet, or smashed her Lego creations, Aleena’s parents did not blame Hakeem, explaining that “we are not going to lock your brother Hakeem out of any part of the house. He has to learn”. As mentioned earlier, the adopted child feels curious about his new home and would like to explore it; but sometimes he might make some troubles due to unfamiliarity with the new environment. Recognizing that the adopted child is adjusting to significant changes and he may need time to feel secure and develop trust, the foster parents and siblings should be patient during the transition period. Even when the adopted child is making some mistakes, the foster parents should give him more tolerance and have the siblings understand that the adopted child is still learning and adjusting to the new family. At the same time, it would be best to establish some age-appropriate boundaries and expectations to let the adopted child understand what he should or should not do. Communicate those boundaries and expectations and guide the adopted child toward desired behaviors with positive rewards. Each adopted child is unique, so foster families should make use of adaptation and flexibility to access and meet the specific needs of the adopted child.
Although adopting a child is often a benevolent action, protective steps are needed to ensure a smooth transition during the adoption process for both the foster family and the adopted child. With these steps, a nurturing environment would be created for the adopted child, minimizing potential problems and promoting an effective adoption process for the foster families. Aleena's family tries to understand the needs of Hakeem. Arabic learns Arabic in order to communicate with Hakeem. With the photos and videos for almost one year, Aleena’s family gets to know more about Hakeem. Aleena’s family traveled across the world from America to Morocco to meet and spend time with the adopted son Hakeem. To have a successful adoption, first the foster parents need to assure they have appropriate maturity and ample kindness ready. Additionally, they need to educate themselves about the adaptation process, including understanding the needs of the adopted child, attending adoption training programs, or seeking guidance from professionals. Before officially adopting the child, planning multiple meetings or even temporarily living together with an adopted child for a short-period time could make the adoption process more smoothly. Through the close interactions with each other, the adopted child could build familiarity and comfort with the foster parents while they could detect if they are perfectly matching with each other. Within a year after the adoption, it would be wise for the adoption agency to provide support and assistance by visiting the foster family and adopted child to check if there are any challenges that may arise. By implementing the steps, the whole adoption process would be proceeded in a thoughtful and responsible manner, ensuring the best interests of the adopted child and the foster family.
The story “Home” concerns the effects of adoption and how Aleena handles her adopted brother. Aleena needs to face the fact that Hakeem hasn’t seen any toys or cuddle times before, so that he gets overstimulated. He also goes around in Aleena’s room, every time finding something interesting, and wrecking it to pieces. The problem is that Aleena has never communicated properly with Hakeem before, and also Aleena doesn’t have the mental preparation in order to handle Hakeem’s boisterous behavior. This story engages readers to think deeply about the adaptation issues. The need for the foster families to understand the feelings of the adopted child from before adoption to after adoption undoubtedly exists. To create a warm and nurturing environment for the adopted child to feel welcomed and loved, the foster parents and siblings should have ample patience and understanding, provide unconditional love and support even if the adopted child makes some mistakes, and set up the boundary and expectation with open communication. To prevent the adoption disagreements happening, people should make a “test” adoption, for about three months so that the couple gets acquainted with the child and gets to know most of their personality.
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