The desire to fit in somewhere, such as a community, can be a struggle for many people. To belong is to be a member or part of a particular group, organization, class, or even country. These needs can affect people's decisions and their way of thinking a lot and even change them in order to conform to the standards and norms of the group. People may change their behavior, beliefs, or attitude to fit in and be accepted. People also spend a lot of time comparing themselves to other members of a group to determine whether they fit in well. The primary motivation to adapt to certain social groups is the need of sharing some point of similarity. People, therefore, may want to change if they see themselves as different person from others in order to feel accepted and belong.
One cause of this struggle to belong is how the people in those communities can affect members and others. Communities are important because they are a vital source of connection to society and they bring a sense of belonging. However, it can influence many positively and negatively. An example is how in the story of “The War of the Wall” by Toni Cade Bambara, the narrator and their community aren’t friendly to the painter lady, an outsider, at all. The people in this community are hostile to the painting lady as they regard her as an invader who might destroy their property - the wall. However, they only guarded their wall because it had the name of their friend, who had passed away, on it. No matter what, they still protected the wall from the painter lady, showing the friendship between them and Jimmy. In this way, communities demonstrate their sincere intentions and care for one another. It also represents their union together as a community. Despite the positive aspects, there is also negativity, such as the lack of welcome for outsiders. Additionally, in “The Stolen Party”, a strong bond of trust is seen between Luciana and Rosaura. However, even though Rosaura has earned recognition from Luciana, a lot of the time Rosaura is still viewed as poor and a maid to others. As a result, the surroundings of others can affect people greatly and even cause conflict.
Some people might not take their identity as something serious while others regard identity an obstacle in their life to be fully accepted by society.. An identity distinguishes a character or personality of an individual and it makes people who they are. Physical traits define people on the outside, they give an impression, while personality is affected by surroundings and it is normally who one actually is. There are some stories that portray struggling identities. In “The White Umbrella”, the narrator has the desire to fit into better social classes. At the beginning of the story, the society around her and the change in her family made her feel like an outsider and she wanted to conform. The life that Eugenie Roberts had made her feel jealous, especially the white umbrella she thought Eugenie owned. The narrator wanted a better life and wasn't happy with her own. She felt shameful to be different from others, especially with her mother working, and wanted to be accepted. Similarly, Rosaura in “The Stolen Party”, yearned to be recognized in a more valued way instead of her low status. She thought she was the actual friend of the daughter from a rich family, where her mother works as a maid, and was not considered to be different due to the family’s positive attitude to her. However, in the end, she learns that the social barrier does impact her a lot and she was still considered a lowly outsider. The narrator, Jason Kim, in “Hello, My Name Is _____” wanted to be regarded as a pure American, like the people around him. He tries to look and act in an American way to fit in society. This is what he thinks makes him fit in with his identity. As a result, this illustrates how identity can also pose a conflict when it comes to belonging.
Most importantly, social pressure can cause people to develop a self-identity in order to gain “approval” from society. It can lead people to also follow the crowd, they don't want to seem foreign or strange to others. In “Hello, My Name Is _____”, it was easier for Jason to adapt to others rather than facing the difficulties of being the odd one out. Living in America made Jason hate being Asian because of his distinctions from others. Due to that, it started to change the way he acted and viewed himself. People also resist change within themselves because they fear being different from others. The mother in “The White Umbrella” started working in the family. During the time the story takes place, mothers normally do not work in the family. However, when the narrator's mother started working, the narrator did not like it at all as it made her separate from others’ families. Prejudice and discrimination can also lead to this social pressure. It can affect one's opportunities and it can cause people to feel shameful of who they are. At the end of the story of “The Stolen Party”, Senora Ines offers Rosaura money instead of gifts because she only views Rosaura as the helper or daughter of the maid. For example, in the end, she calls Rosaura “my pet”. This shows that Rosaura's mother was correct, that they would only be viewed as maids and low people. Then, the community in “The War of the Wall” also misjudged the painter lady and saw her as an outsider. It caused them to make wrong assumptions and made the painter lady feel unwelcome. Under social pressure, people may develop their own identities to gain acceptance from society.
Trying to fit in somewhere, such as in a community, can be challenging for many. Among the main reasons for this is that their surroundings can have both positive and negative effects on them. Community members can demonstrate their sincerity and unity with one another. However, there are also negative aspects, such as an unwelcoming environment for outsiders. Being accepted by others can also be influenced by an individual's identity. Differentiating from others can make some people feel ashamed, leading them to want to be accepted by others. As a result, they yearn to be recognized in a more valued way instead of their lower status. Moreover, social pressure may influence people to develop a self-identity so they can gain wider social acceptance. They may want to conform to common ways rather than face the difficulties of being an outcast. There are also other factors that can lead to social pressure, such as prejudice and discrimination. Consequently, individuals may feel resentful of who they are and their opportunities may be impacted as a result. In conclusion, although people may struggles to belong, they should always stay true to who they are and embrace their difference.
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