Since the beginning of humankind, us humans have been living and interacting in groups. Even the cavemen and the first humans on earth lived in small or big groups, relying on each other to grow their society. A loner is often the most vulnerable in a society, so to belong and to conform is a very necessary skill that everyone needs to have. Humans are social beings, and the lack of interaction does not make us feel good. Also, the need to belong drives us to have better relationships with people and to make more of an effort in a social setting. There are three main reasons why the need to belong and to conform is a positive trait: it allows us to keep improving ourselves, it motivates us to find our “people”, and it also helps us to develop necessary social skills needed for us to survive in society.
First of all, all humans need to keep improving themselves to be a better person, and a more valuable person towards society. The need to belong drives that desire to get better, because if people don’t like you, generally, there is something amiss with your personality or the way you present yourself towards others. Humans crave to be praised and to be integrated in a society where people who think alike exist. But sometimes, having people who think alike is not enough. We also need those people to think highly of us and to approve of us, so this strives us to work harder. For example, if one really likes the thinking of a group of students with very high grades, they would also need to work hard and get good grades so they become the same type of people. Anything that encourages us to work hard is positive.
Finding our people is important; it may bring us to the most important people of our lives. We all need a group of understanding and supportive friends who will be there for us through our ups and downs. We need someone who can truly get us, and know what will make us feel better. But in order to get that sort of friendship, we need to be able to think the same way as those people, and oftentimes, we would need to change a bit so that we are more alike and more compatible whether it is socially, academically, or financially. So in order for us to find our people, we will need to conform to the thinking of that group, and it is positive because it allows us to have more friends in life, which is never a bad thing. However, it is important to choose the right people, because if not the consequences following may be disastrous. But after choosing the right group of people, there is no harm in trying to “fit in”.
Being able to conform to society is also a necessary social skill. As human beings there will be many instances in our lives where we need to socialize, talk to others, for business or just plainly for other purposes. If we don’t have the social skills to interact with people we like, we will have an even harder time talking to people who don’t like us or who we are not familiar with. Being able to conform is very important, especially when you want someone to like you for another purpose. In social life, you will have to say things that you do not like, and it is important for someone to say it with a straight face. If you cannot do so, it will make a lot of interactions really awkward, because not everyone you talk and socialize with will be someone you enjoy spending a lot of time with. This is why our social life is based on our ability to conform.
In conclusion, being able to fit in and to conform to society is a positive trait, as this will make our life more easier and more fulfilled. However, there are exceptions when we should not conform with society, especially when something is contradicting our morals. We should never change or reverse our morals because of peer pressure, but it is still healthy to develop and create new morals that we share with our peers and the people who surround us. Conforming to society is not about erasing who you are, it’s about tweaking yourself so that you can be a more valuable member of the society.
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